BEYONCE (2017)

I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Baps] diary extract, 13 April 2017


“What a difference the drugs can make. The first thing I thought when I woke up from surgery was, “No way José. I. Actually. Feel. Well.” There was no nausea, I could open my eyes beyond half-mast, I was starving. Of course this surgery took only half the time of the last one (about 2-3 hours) and was nothing like the same trauma medically but, still, in the lead up my biggest fear was nausea.

Last year I lost 10kg after the mastectomies, then gained 2kg. If I was going to vomit after this one, there would be nothing left of me. Vomiting is the start of everything bad. You can’t take the pills, you lose your appetite, you can’t hold drink down, you are in more pain, you get weak, you can’t move, your system gets sluggish, you get constipated… it’s a horrible vicious circle.
In the holding bay Lady Boss Anaesthesia was the dog’s bollox when it came to listening to my fears. She said, “I take it really seriously,” and THEN SHE SAID, “Has anyone offered you a G&T?” (Medazepam (sp?)). For a minute I wondered if she knew me! She was definitely my kinda girl. So she cut the anaesthetic gases, stuck with a certain anti-nausea drug and lo and behold it worked.

When I got on the ward I went into a mini shock. I wondered how on earth I managed that crazy first recovery period 7 months ago. This time I felt ok, I had my own room, there was no drug pump attached to me, no pain remote control, no double handed cannulas, no feeling like I was trapped in a coffin. I ordered everything off the menu in celebration of relative normality! So who got dat party vibe? For all the mental times behind me, hip hop hooray, the next homegirl to arrive is Beyonce. She so cray cray.”